The client he had been working with these past few weeks was a nuisance. It was a big company, and there was a lot at stake. The management had succeeded in building up a debt of 700 million euros over a five-year period. What bothered him most was that they could call you at any moment of the day, whether convenient or not. It was admittedly reflected in the hourly rate of 450 euros, but ultimately that changed nothing about the servile character of the work.
He had got into the habit of walking home from the office on the odd days of the week. His house was on the other side of the Main, in a quiet street near an exit road to the southwest. Whenever he took that walk, he went past a small park, more of a garden really, with thirty or so old trees standing close together in the northwest corner. He sometimes saw a few men sitting there on a bench. They were not the men you would expect in an average city park. No, the men he saw, judging by their well-tailored suits and their smart shoes, appeared to work in the financial sector, like him. In the summer, he could imagine why they might be there, the men were just having a beer after a busy day at work, but now, in late November – what on earth were they up to?
His girlfriend, Grete, had messaged him to say dinner would be ready at around nine. Schweinshaxe was on the menu. He had told her he felt like a traditional meal. He was hungry. He had been thinking about food all day.
One of the men looked at him, giving him a quick blink. He came to a halt and found himself unable to resume his walk. The man who had sent him the nod was a little taller than average, with sharp features and black hair. He turned around and walked to a spot among the trees. It was as if his legs decided by themselves to follow and walk that way too. He felt like a passenger inside his body.
Among the trees, he could make out a number of men. Some seemed to look at him, while others were kissing. One of them was wearing a beige fur coat with gold buttons, another had a striking light-red scarf. He could feel his heart pounding. To his right, a man appeared, whose face he could not see clearly in the darkness. The man took hold of his arm and led him away, deeper into the trees. A man, naked from the waist down, was lying on the ground, and in front of him sat another guy, slowly moving back and forth.
He had an instant erection. It was not as if he had never been aware of such feelings – he had regularly masturbated while watching gay porn – no, he had always considered it a quality you could also possess as a straight man. But now, here in this park, he wondered if that was really true, if he didn’t owe himself more explanation.
The man who had led him there murmured something to the couple on the ground. A fourth man appeared, who dropped down in front of him, unbuttoned his trousers and began to suck him off. The one who had taken him deeper into the trees kissed the back of his neck, stroking his testicles from behind. The other man continued to suck him off, but more gently than before.
Someone else joined them – was it really someone new? He didn’t know.
Softly, he was pushed onto the ground. Subtly but firmly, they pressed his back forward until he was in a horizontal position. With his buttocks facing backwards.
He was licked and jerked off from behind. It was not clear which of the men was doing what, but that didn’t matter. He heard himself groaning and couldn’t take his eyes off the couple on the ground. How was it possible, however was it possible, he thought, that this had never happened to him before? There had been some passes, there had been men who had approached him, but he had always fended them off, a sort of kneejerk reaction. He had met Grete on his last training placement. Although it had usually been men who tried to get off with him, it was a woman this time, and that had been a relief. Without thinking too hard about it, he had responded to the initiative she had taken. They had been living together for almost three years now in a house that was worth one and a half million.
A little later, the man who had taken him by the arm came to sit beside him again, putting his hand on the back of his neck. He could make out his features better now: well-groomed stubble and dark-blond hair. The man gestured invitingly at the one who was lying on the ground. He was excited by the thought, but at the same time had serious doubts. He stood up and buttoned his trousers. He looked at the men, one by one, as far as he could, giving each of them a brief nod. He smoothed out his jacket and checked that his tie was straight. Without looking back, he strode out of the trees, diagonally across the park and towards the main road that led to his house. What was he supposed to do with this experience now?
He didn’t know.
And maybe, he thought – as he felt a shiver creeping along his back – it would be for the best if he didn’t decide what to do with this experience. Wasn’t that what he’d always done? And had he ever been disappointed?