17 Hanoi: A Silent, Shuddering Orgasm

NAKED ON THE BANK OF THE RED RIVER

So, let’s keep the yin-yang spirit alive. In the indigenous philosophical world view, expressing one’s sexuality was to be in harmony with nature. Due to the forces of acculturation and colonialism, we’ve become ever more and more shy and avoid discussing it. However, in the heart of Hanoi, at the foot of the 100-year-old Long Bien Bridge beside the sacred Hong or Red River, there are still a group of people who prefer to be nude in order to connect with nature. Their activity is referred to as a ‘fairy shower’ or tam tien: a modern take on a legend about fairies with godlike beauty coming down from the sky to swim in a river after having deposited their holy silk dresses on its banks.
There are mostly men here, ranging from young to middle-aged, and they are naked regardless of whether it is hot summer or cold winter. They exercise, meditate and bathe in the river every day of the year. They believe that living in unison with heaven and earth provides a special source of life energy that allows them to have abundant health and vitality. And, of course, this has implications for men’s virility. Above all, they regard being naked as a way to commune with the environment and listen to their bodies. This nudist club – unofficially named by its members as the ‘Red River Lovers Club’ or ‘Red River Swimming Club’ – is very friendly. If you have a desire to join, you are always welcome.

A NUTTY DELIGHT

Betel and areca are referred to as xuan duoc – a natural aphrodisiac. As a stimulant, betel leaves are chewed with slaked lime (calcium hydroxide) or quicklime (calcium oxide) and an areca nut mixture. Chewing it makes you sweat and flushes your cheeks, even if you are cold. This is accompanied by a pleasant light-headedness and a moderate feeling of euphoria. Betel is a subtle expression of love – it is essential for weddings and other special occasions. The process of readying betel (which requires skilfully folding the leaves into a square pouch) also demonstrates a woman’s ingenuity and is used to assess the character of teenage girls to determine whether they are ready to marry.
Stained red lips and rosy cheeks are traditionally associated with beauty, so at the start of puberty, girls learn to eat betel. Besides, betel nut makes the mouth and tongue fragrant, the breath pleasant; it stimulates the secretion of saliva and increases arousal. Chewing the mixture of areca nut and betel leaf is a long-held custom, and resonates with the familiar folk verse, lamenting bad times when areca is scarce: ‘When loving each other, six-parts of an areca nut are separated into only three parts. Yet, when hating each other, six-parts of an areca nut will be separated into ten parts.’

MY BODY IS LIKE A JACKFRUIT

Ho Xuan Huong (1772–1822) is one of the most revered Vietnamese poets of all time. She became locally famous and obtained a reputation for creating erotic poems that were subtle and witty. As a single woman in Confucian society, her writing demonstrates an impressive independence and resistance to societal norms, particularly through her sociopolitical commentaries and use of frank sexual humour. Her poems are often irreverent, rife with double entendres and erudite. Her verse is still quoted by the youth of Hanoi today:

My body is like a jackfruit swinging on a tree,
My skin is rough, my pulp is thick.
Dear prince, if you want me then pierce me upon your stick
Don’t squeeze, I’ll ooze and stain your hands.

(The Jackfruit)

My parents have brought forth a snail,
Night and day among the smelly grass.
If you love me, peel off my shell,
Don’t wiggle my little hole, please.

(The Snail)

Ho Xuan Huong’s use of erotic words was an affirmation of women’s position against the harshness of feudal society. In her lively poetry, there is a resounding truth: women must be able to express their sexual desires to live authentically.

WAR HAS A WOMAN’S FACE

The Vietnam War still takes centre stage in the global imaginary. The country has a four-thousand-year-long history, but only the last half-century has been truly peaceful. If war was a person, what gender would it be? The Vietnamese say that war has a woman’s face. During the resistance against the French and Americans, men went to the battlefield and died, leaving the women at home to wait. There are those who never had the opportunity to experience a true night of carefree love. Young couples were separated before they could be together – they did not know what sexual sublimation was like, the beauty of human life, for long swathes of time. This instilled sexual repression in the hearts of many.

When the war ended, literature played an important role in turning this historical tragedy around. Told from a male perspective, one of the most well-known works is The Sorrow of War (1990) by Bao Ninh. In this novel, women are the embodiment of love and the antithesis of violence, the saving light of human life and the victims of destruction. Among the innumerable victims of the war were raped girls, and their wounds – emotional and physical – never healed.
In the post-war period, female writers have utilised the theme of sex to liberate women from cultural and social institutions, portraying their characters as possessing extraordinary physical beauty, eroticism and rich femininity, shaping narratives that reaffirmed their strength and power. One of the most pioneering voices (and a personal favourite) is Lý Lan. Her tragic novel Tiêu Thuyêt Dàn Bà (2008) is dedicated to lost women. Among its central protagonists is a woman named Thoa. She has lived during the fierceness of the war and is haunted and obsessed by it. Her lost relatives, poverty and the experience of being displaced from her home never leave her. For Lý’s female characters, life is never peaceful, and happiness is a luxury. Nevertheless, Tiêu Thuyêt Dàn Bà exudes compassion and love. In times of war, it is clear that sexual desire is a powerful force – a life-affirming source of consolation as well as conflict.
Furthermore, female writers who speak candidly about inner, hidden lives, emancipated literature from a masculine-dominated discourse about sex. Puberty, the ‘first time’ associated with the loss of virginity, the pain of having an abortion, homosexuality, masturbation – all of these experiences encompass a humanistic and humanising view of gender. If you’re searching for a daring read, look no further than the lurid combination of fiction and diary in Doàn Ánh Thuân’s Vân vy (2008). Doàn’s prose is not only sexy and sensual, but also expresses incredible depth of meaning. Or Y Ban’s Xuân Tu Chiêu (2008) that depicts, in a scintillating gossip-style, the fate of a married couple living during the time of the US embargo.

TIED UP IN KNOTS

In the 1990s, a wave of contemporary art emerged in Hanoi. A slew of new galleries opened, and international collectors began to visit. Despite continuing pressure from the governmental policy of ‘tightening’ culture, many artists in the country found the freedom to create. The painter Truong is an intriguing case in point. He was most likely the first in the scene to introduce the concept of installation art and incorporate nods to his homosexuality in his work. Truong is regarded as a pioneer by critics. Countless young artists today admire him for fighting for gay rights and his belief in creativity during an era when there were far too many barriers. Circus (1992), his first queer painting, debuted in a general exhibition at the Hanoi University of Fine Arts in 1992. His decision to showcase this work marked a watershed moment. This is Truong’s first public declaration of his sexual orientation, in addition to being the start of his career as an artist.
Of course, things were difficult, and Truong had to carefully conceal references to his sexuality in his work. Circus depicts two contorted, upside-down figures, both male. The top one is pushing one arm towards the space between the legs of the other, whose ankles are tied up with a white rope or sheet. The rope detail can also be found in many of Truong’s early works as a symbol for bonds at a time when social prejudices were still prevalent. By contrast, his more recent paintings exude cheerful liveliness, overtly celebrating same-sex love. Truong’s first independent exhibition, which explored various perspectives on the subject of nudity, took place in Hanoi in 1994. He hoped to ‘test’ the social acceptability of homosexual content through this event.
Despite some success, Truong decided to immigrate to France in 1997. In the following period, news of his works spread throughout Asia, serving as an inspiration for activities to spread LGBT culture in a variety of locations. Truong’s ‘breakthrough’ process may not be sufficient to change the legal standing of the LGBT community. However, what he has done thus far has given hope to many LGBT artists. Currently, South Asian society is receiving an increasing number of LGBT-themed cultural products. Queer painters and artists are seeking to increase access to and awareness of issues surrounding gender and sexuality. Considering these positive shifts, it is impossible to forget Truong’s valiant efforts to pave the way more than thirty years ago.

THE SWEET RELIEF OF ICE CUBES

Set during the summer in Hanoi and featuring the recurring image of ice cubes, director Phan Dang Di’s first feature-length film: Bi, Don’t Be Afraid! (2010) takes its audience on a journey to discover the deep secrets that exist in every human being. In the opening sequence, shots of Hanoi’s bustling beer halls – refuges from the sweltering heat – are brought into sharp contrast with the quiet dinner Bi’s family shares. The first scenes of Bi, Don’t Be Afraid! offer a glimpse into the seemingly normal life of an ordinary family in Hanoi during the hot and humid summer.
However, behind what appears to be ‘normal’ lies each character’s loneliness, suppressed desires and hidden memories. Quang (Bi’s father) is absent and only comes home after a night of heavy drinking. The sudden return of his grandfather after many years away has caused an atmosphere of excitement and strangeness. Thuy (Bi’s unmarried elderly aunt) still attends school every day and has begun a relationship with a man she met through a matchmaking service. Bi, Don’t Be Afraid! has no central plot, but ice cubes are used to ingeniously connect the characters and each divergent storyline. Soothing ice cubes assist the grandfather, relieving pain caused by the disease of old age. The aunt masturbates with a hunk of ice late at night, suppressing her longing, and ice quenches the father’s thirst in the impossibly hot weather. In one of the most haunting scenes, we see a top-down perspective on two naked bodies drenched in sweat after an intense orgy of lovemaking. As husband and wife, the pair can satisfy each other’s physical desires, but they are unable to rekindle the fire of their long-frozen, dysfunctional relationship.
Bi, Don’t Be Afraid! is perhaps the best example of a Vietnamese independent film. It is a pioneering work that opened up a bold new form of expression in Hanoi cinema – it won the Best Asian Project Award at the 2007 Busan International Film Festival and was selected to participate in the Cinéfondation Atelier activity organised by Festival de Cannes.

A CENTURIES-OLD DRAG SHOW

Many people only know about Saigon’s thriving drag culture, which includes countless shows as well as a large number of queens who work in bars. Saigon’s pace of life has been bustling and dynamic for so long – it is the ideal environment for the drag queen community to flourish. People in Saigon tend to have a more welcoming attitude, by contrast, the drag community in Hanoi is quite small. Hanoians are still reserved and unfamiliar with this culture, so the drag queens’ performance space is concentrated around the West Lake area, which is populated by a large number of foreigners and tourists. However, it was Hanoi’s lack of openness that made the first drag show here in 2019 such an important milestone. The queens in this inaugural event demonstrated their meticulous effort and seriousness towards their craft. They represented true artistic ambition onstage and encapsulated the mantra of many creatives – that sometimes it takes a lot of effort, pushing yourself beyond your normal limits, to shine. Every day, the performances become more creative and appealing. As a result, Hanoians have gradually gained a positive perspective and regard drag as a true, serious art form.
It’s interesting to note that in Vietnamese culture, we have Hâu Đông, a centuries-old UNESCO heritage shamanic ritual where men dress as goddesses and dance plays an essential role. In some ways, Hâu Đông and contemporary drag share a link – both play with the performance of gender. Those who enact the Hâu Đông temporarily transform into saints – it is believed that they spiritually enter the souls and bodies of others in order to bless them.They dance to sacred music and describe the movements of the saints – sometimes majestic, sometimes soft, sometimes naughty or joyful. Hanoians use the phrase Đông Cô, Bóng Câu to refer to homosexual people, which is derived from this indigenous tradition. The ritual is now staged as performance art, and it is not limited to religious spaces. If you visit Hanoi but do not want to catch a drag show, you can instead participate in a Mother Goddess worship session. The splendour of this encounter that draws on a practice developed hundreds of years ago is sure to simultaneously amuse and overwhelm you.

ANIMALISTIC LANGUAGE

Hanoians find great pleasure in using the names of animals as slang for their genitalia. Specifically, chim (meaning ‘bird’) is a slang term for the penis and a buóm (meaning ‘butterfly’) is used to refer to the vagina. Vietnam is primarily an agricultural civilisation – day-to-day exchanges often bear traces of a close association with nature, the comparison of these creatures to parts of the human anatomy being just one example. Also, birds and butterflies are supremely evocative visual metaphors. When a bird sticks out its beak, its pecking motion is reminiscent to how the penis works. The butterfly with open wings both recalls the shape of a vulva and is a symbol of slender, soft beauty, like the character of a kind woman. These colloquial phrases are a way to connect the poetic imaginary of the past to the present. Moreover, tracing the etymology ‘bird’ reveals cu and cò, which are folk words for ‘boy,’ and bím, hím, derived from ‘butterfly,’ are folk words for ‘girl.’ If you take a visit to Hanoi and use this dirty slang on the street, locals will be very excited – they won’t expect their friends abroad to know about their linguistic, erotic animals.

MAKING NOISELESS LOVE

Hanoi’s Old Quarter is often admired for its ancient beauty, mossy rooftops and quaint quietness – it is regarded as an important heritage site in the thousand-year-old capital that needs to be preserved. But inside, there is a ‘speciality’ to the narrow existences of its residents. Lovemaking must take place next to parents, siblings, children and sometimes even next-door neighbours who all lie in close proximity. When having sex, young couples must do everything they can to avoid disturbing their sleeping families. Stories circulate of women biting down on tightly-wound rags to prevent embarrassing situations that might occur because of their inability to control their moans.
This issue arises due to two factors. Firstly, the Old Quarter has remained the same size for millennia. In the past, only one family lived in a large house, but the population has increased significantly due to urbanisation, accompanied by migration after the war. This means that a single building can be occupied by nearly a dozen households living on top of each other. And traditionally, a family of Hanoians has always included three generations, so you can imagine the overcrowding! But what if we advised them to leave the old town? They’d certainty refuse. The population of this ancient neighbourhood are proud to live in an area where Vietnamese quintessence has converged for thousands of years. So, having noiseless sex will have to do. However, for long-term residents of the Old Quarter, the discomfort is familiar and instead of being a nuisance, seems to only increase their excitement. Hanoians say that ‘food is always more delicious when eaten clumsy.’ In much the same way, the sloppy pleasure of sex forced to take place in silence has permeated as an accidental kink.

LAKES OF DESIRE

‘Hanoi’ means lying by the river. Perhaps the most unique feature of this city is its underground river system, which results in the many lakes, the most famous of which being Hoan Kiem Lake and West Lake. It should be noted that before the French planned Hanoi to become a modern metropolis – a miniature model of Paris – the city was described as the ‘Venice of the East.’ Hanoians enjoy sitting by the water’s edge all the time, in all moods, and lakes are, of course, a very popular date location. When walking alongside the lakes in Hanoi at sunset or after dark, it is common to see many couples hugging and cuddling. And if you own a car, having sex beside the lake is a very special experience. Making love in a steamy vehicle, secluded from the outside, with no one knowing what’s going on inside, creates a unique sense of suspense and arousal. More specifically, gazing at the city in the orange hue of dusk or watching the bright, urban lights reflected in the surface of the water, creates a truly romantic ambience.

SECRET SEX SPACE

A25 and Café Phim are two secluded locations that are synonymous with romantic dates for couples. A25, or more precisely the A25 Hotel, aims to provide customers with a comfortable feeling of home rather than a luxury resort experience. True to the A25 slogan – ‘Your house’ – the interior feels very much like the intimate, familiar space of one’s bedroom, with thick, clean bedsheets and toiletries from well-known brands that everyone uses on a daily basis. A25’s hotels are typically located in downtown areas and are reasonably priced, making this an ideal private space for couples. Indeed, the phrase ‘go A25’ has become a popular euphuism to propose a hook-up.
An A25 hotel is a place Hanoians might hesitate to enter because the reason for going there is so obvious. And an alternative, more discrete rendezvous option is unquestionably Café Phim (Film Café). Café Phim is a mini cinema with good quality service – there’s always a full list of film genres to choose from, some even available in 3D if that tickles your fancy. However, you don’t have to visit just to catch a screening.
Café Phim is additionally fully equipped with the necessary facilities to make it a passionate date location, including private rooms intended for two occupants. It’s wonderfully convenient for cinephiles and romantics alike.